Marcus (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} marcus132) wrote,@ 2009-11-07 21:35:00 |
|
Bullet Point Review: The Fourth Kind
• The Fourth Kind is, if the marketing is to be believed, based on "archival footage" of "the most disturbing evidence of alien abduction ever documented." This actual footage is combined with reenactments, with ghoulish real-world psychologist Dr. Abigail Tyler played by hot model/actress Milla Jovovich.
• First off, for the sake of argument, let's assume that the "real" footage in this film really is really real, with no quotes. In that case, the real footage in this film is absolutely chilling. If some of these real clips of real people don't send a shiver up your spine, you are simply not alive. They run the gamut from disturbing to outright terrifying. Because they are real. Really real. You believe they're real, because they have a lot of people screaming, and they get crazy distorted whenever something interesting happens.
• The real footage is gold. The trouble with the movie comes in the reenactments, which are poorly acted and horribly shot. As I've said before, if a film is directed poorly enough that I notice it, then somebody has really gone out of their way to do a shitty job. Oh, I get it, aliens come from the sky! So we should have lots of really high crane shots, 'cause that's how aliens see us parking our cars! And there is no such thing as "too long" when it comes to tight profile shots of a man's talking lips. And, you know what? Go ahead and spin that camera whenever you can. It won't take us out of the movie and make us sick at the same time. It'll be great.
• For example, we hear a horrifying totally real, real-world audiotape of Dr. Tyler's bloodcurdling screams while an unknown entity speaks Sumerian to her in an inhuman voice. After taking us to the edge of our seats, why on earth would you dilute the interview footage of the real Dr. Tyler's reaction to this with a frenetic bullshit montage of scrolling 24 squares full of a pensive Milla Jovovich and a tape deck rewinding? It's like the director is trying his damnedest to destroy all of the totally real, real-world tension of the moment.
• By now, I think you can see that the only thing this movie has going for it is the incredible totally real, real-world archive footage that is its heart and driving force. Because, were this movie to be fictional, it would be completely boring and pointless. As they say, "Truth is stranger than fiction, because fiction has to make sense." We forgive The Fourth Kind for being an illogical mess of loose ends and unmotivated choices because it's totally real, real life, and not an unforgivably poorly written script that no rational person would possibly believe.
• On an unrelated note, outside of a few scattered mentions on freshly made websites that no longer exist, nobody has ever heard of totally real, real-world psychologist Dr. Abigail Tyler.
• The Fourth Kind is, if the marketing is to be believed, based on "archival footage" of "the most disturbing evidence of alien abduction ever documented." This actual footage is combined with reenactments, with ghoulish real-world psychologist Dr. Abigail Tyler played by hot model/actress Milla Jovovich.• First off, for the sake of argument, let's assume that the "real" footage in this film really is really real, with no quotes. In that case, the real footage in this film is absolutely chilling. If some of these real clips of real people don't send a shiver up your spine, you are simply not alive. They run the gamut from disturbing to outright terrifying. Because they are real. Really real. You believe they're real, because they have a lot of people screaming, and they get crazy distorted whenever something interesting happens.
• The real footage is gold. The trouble with the movie comes in the reenactments, which are poorly acted and horribly shot. As I've said before, if a film is directed poorly enough that I notice it, then somebody has really gone out of their way to do a shitty job. Oh, I get it, aliens come from the sky! So we should have lots of really high crane shots, 'cause that's how aliens see us parking our cars! And there is no such thing as "too long" when it comes to tight profile shots of a man's talking lips. And, you know what? Go ahead and spin that camera whenever you can. It won't take us out of the movie and make us sick at the same time. It'll be great.
• For example, we hear a horrifying totally real, real-world audiotape of Dr. Tyler's bloodcurdling screams while an unknown entity speaks Sumerian to her in an inhuman voice. After taking us to the edge of our seats, why on earth would you dilute the interview footage of the real Dr. Tyler's reaction to this with a frenetic bullshit montage of scrolling 24 squares full of a pensive Milla Jovovich and a tape deck rewinding? It's like the director is trying his damnedest to destroy all of the totally real, real-world tension of the moment.
• By now, I think you can see that the only thing this movie has going for it is the incredible totally real, real-world archive footage that is its heart and driving force. Because, were this movie to be fictional, it would be completely boring and pointless. As they say, "Truth is stranger than fiction, because fiction has to make sense." We forgive The Fourth Kind for being an illogical mess of loose ends and unmotivated choices because it's totally real, real life, and not an unforgivably poorly written script that no rational person would possibly believe.
• On an unrelated note, outside of a few scattered mentions on freshly made websites that no longer exist, nobody has ever heard of totally real, real-world psychologist Dr. Abigail Tyler.
