Freddy vs. Jason at the Hollywood Wax Museum
This morning I went up to Hollywood for the Freddy vs. Jason figure unveiling/DVD release/costume contest at the Hollywood Wax Museum.

You know, I always just assumed that the figures in that museum looked like second hand mannequins with a little bit of face putty haphazardly slapped on them because they were old, and from an era when people didn't have such high expectations of celebrity wax sculpture.

Judging from the quality of the brand new Freddy and Jason figures though, I'd say that they're just not trying.

Anyway, the adventure started at 6 'o clock this morning when I got up and started putting on my makeup. I still had lots of red makeup left from Halloween, but it turns out I had run out of the crispy latex scar material. If you ever find yourself in this situation, a few distressed layers of your girlfriend's Cucumber and Ginseng Mineral Peel-Off Masque will get the job done.

There was a good turnout for the costume contest. I'd say there were about 7 to 10 Freddys and as many Jasons. I noticed something interesting about the contestants as I was waiting for the judging: The more professional looking somebody's costume was, the less friendly they were.

There were 4 or 5 guys with off-the-shelf Halloween hockey masks and burlap shirts on, and they all came over and said hi, and we had some laughs and shot some shit. The guys with the real hardcore costumes, with full rubber head masks and chains and swamp fungus and whatnot just gave me an up and down glance that screamed, "I'm so beating your half-Jasoned ass."

Whatever. To all the people I met today, you guys were all awesome. It was good to meet you, nomercyvideo. Sorry I didn't get to stick around longer. Too much chaos and not enough mobility in that suit.

But when was the last time that you saw four Freddys hanging out on a street corner?



For the costume contest, they were giving out two $500 prizes: One for the best Freddy lookalike, and one for the best Jason. When they split us up into groups for judging, I decided to go with the Freddys, because there were less of them, and the place they were holding the contest was really small.

Since the contest was specifically "Best Lookalike," I wasn't expecting to win the grand prize. I'm not too proud to admit that on their own, the Jason side of my costume is just an average Jason, and the Freddy side is just an average Freddy. There were much better lookalikes there, and they both would end up winning the big novelty checks (to end the suspense).

So I paraded into the little Crystal Lake set with the Freddys, and Robert Englund was there, looking us all up and down with a scrutinizing eye, like he's at a wench auction picking out a bride. The second he saw me, he was like, "Wow! That's really creative. You win an honorable mention prize."



I would have been happy to have come away from this just having met and momentarily impressed Robert Englund, but New Line's people dug me up a DVD, commemorative magazine, and an autographed poster. Not a bad haul.



When the contest was over, I took off the costume, and peeled off as much of the Cucumber Masque as I could, but I still had one half of my face painted a chunky red, and the other dappled in zombie white and green with a deep gray eye socket. We went to Astro Burger during the crowded lunch rush and not a single person even gave me a second glance. I love LA.

At the end of the day, it doesn't matter if I'm not the best Freddy or the best Jason, as long as I'm still the best Dad.



If you come across any online coverage of this event, please post the links here for me! (Anonymous posts are allowed, if you don't have a LiveJournal account.)