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Earlier this week, Amanda rented Halloween: Resurrection. After giving it six years to mature, I still hated it just as much as I did in 2003.
The reason I hate the movie so much is that it hastily undoes Halloween: H20's neat conclusion to the series just to crap out a totally unnecessary sequel. The whole thing is total bullshit. If the movie can be said to have a high point (which it can't), it's that you get to see a 22-year-old Katee Sackhoff get herself decapitated, complete with close-ups of a really really bad fake head.
Anyway, after rewatching this piece of junk and H20, it occurs to me that (the Rob Zombie bullshit not withstanding), the Halloween series is really made up of two separate trilogies and change: the Good Trilogy, the Forgettable Trilogy, and the Remainder.
The Good Trilogy is, of course, Halloween, Halloween II, and Halloween: H20 (aka Halloween 7). This is the beginning, the middle, and the end of the Laurie Strode/Michael Myers story. All three of these movies are fun, memorable, and fit together without having to see any of the other movies. These are the ones to watch in your Halloween movie marathon.
The Forgettable Trilogy is Halloween IV: The Return of Michael Myers, Halloween V: The Revenge of Michael Myers, and Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (aka Halloween 6). These movies are based on parts one and two, but don't really require having actually seen them. At some point inbetween films two and four (but not in part three), Laurie Strode had a daughter and then died in a car wreck. This daughter, Jamie Lloyd, is the focus of the Forgettable Trilogy, but is never even mentioned in the next movie, H20. These films just lift out. They're sort of fun and interesting as a separate story, but are, as my title suggests, forgettable.
The Remainder is Halloween III: Season of the Witch and Halloween: Resurrection. These movies are the blight on the franchise. As you probably know, Season of the Witch is a weirdo one-off that does not feature Michael Myers. And, worse, it's not even a good movie. The only good thing to come out of Halloween III is this classic earworm. And I've already touched upon what's wrong with Resurrection. A full description of how terrible that movie is would be outside the scope of this essay.
I guess my point is, not only should there never be another original-series Halloween sequel, but three of the existing films should be rebranded as Halloween: The Next Generation and two of them should be incinerated like tainted trick-or-treat candy.
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